“The hotel is not happy with me breaking a 2000-dollar TV. For a second I feel like a rock star, but that’s just a second because then I feel like a psycho again.”

“There is one word I can’t stand and it’s ASAP and that’s not even a word.”

“Some people like milk, but I would never drink anything you have to stroke out of an animal.”

“The first clear thought I have is that I have to stop thinking with my penis. It always points me into trouble.”

“If you appreciate the small things, you're likely to get the big ones.”

“He’s always overly dressed which makes him look stiff – like he wants to do taxes, not women.”

“I have no excuse, neither real nor invented so I let my platinum express do the talking instead.”