“I'm pretty sure the devil is made out of high fructose corn syrup.”

“Very simply, we subsidize high-fructose corn syrup in this country, but not carrots. While the surgeon general is raising alarms over the epidemic of obesity, the president is signing farm bills designed to keep the river of cheap corn flowing, guaranteeing that the cheapest calories in the supermarket will continue to be the unhealthiest.”

“I'm not intimidated by anyone. Everyone is made with two arms, two legs, a stomach and a head. Just think about that.”

“Organic Oreos are not a health food. When Coca-Cola begins selling organic Coke, as it surely will, the company will have struck a blow for the environment perhaps, but not for our health. Most consumers automatically assume that the word "organic" is synomymous with health, but it makes no difference to your insulin metabolism if the high-fructose corn syrup in your soda is organic.”

“Is that what they call a vocation, what you do with joy as if you had fire in your heart, the devil in your body?”

“Make sure you don't lose your heart living with Robert Morgan. Make sure he doesn't use up all the very best parts of you.”

“One French guy at a bar wanted several of us to "faire le parachutisme." He said it was easy, you just jumped out of a plane. It sounded very exciting but no, thank you. He said "I'm not a homo." I said it's not a question of whether or not you're a homo, I just don't want to jump out of a plane.”