“I believed him. I was not stupid. I was his wife.”

“Carter was so taken aback by her attack he dropped his knife. “You knocked him stupid,” he bellowed.“No,” Emily corrected in what she believed was a reasonable tone of voice. “He was already stupid. I knocked him out.”

“God I loved Sammy. I’d considered marrying him, but his wife got upset when I asked for his hand.”

“My wife must be stupid. I mean, look, she married me, didn’t she?”

“You were always saying you were gonna shoot him," he mutters, but it's kind of half-hearted. "Stupid fucking little tit, he needs a bullet in his head. What do you keep him round for, anyway?" Because he makes me laugh. Because, fuck knows why, he adores me. Because he needs somebody to look after him and nobody else knows how. Because everything about us is wrong and I never ever want to be right. Because I wake up in the morning and see him sleeping next to me with his stupid dyed hair and his stupid painted nails and his stupid toy monkey and I remember I love him so much I don't know what to do, I love him I love him I LOVE HIM.”

“I believe that because I had obtained a wife who was made up of wife-signs (beauty, charm, softness, perfume, cookery) I had found love.”