“If it weren't my life, I wouldn't have believed it.”
“I guess I wouldn't believe in anything anymore if it weren't for my lucky astrology mood watch.”
“I slipped on a turtleneck, laughing when my head became stuck in the turtle part. If they weren't called turtlenecks, I wouldn't have worn them.”
“If you weren't surprised by your life you wouldn't be alive. Life is surprise.”
“And one more thing: you still believe that man can be good. If that weren't the case, you wouldn't have invented all this nonsense to convince yourself otherwise.”
“Today wouldn't have happened if histories weren't falsified.”