“So, then why am I your son?" "Because Mom and I made love, and one of my sperm fertilized one of her eggs." "Excuse me while I regurgitate." "Don't act your age.”

“If I am the phantom, it is because man's hatred has made me so. If I am to be saved it is because your love redeems me.”

“What makes you think it was your sperm? My sperm is obviously the dominant sperm. My sperm told your sperm to get to the back of line. The boy will have black hair and green eyes.”Sam shook his head. “I bet my sperm listens to your sperm just about as good as I listen to you. My sperm is also very impatient. It ran to that egg. Little Sam is gonna be a handful.”

“No one will ever be able to take my love away from you. I am yours until you don't want me anymore. I am yours. I love you and no one else, never ever doubt that.”

“Of course, then you nearly crushed to death in front of my eyes. Later I thought of a perfectly good excuse for why I acted at that moment - because if I hadn't saved you, if your blood had been spilled there in front of me, I don't think I could have stopped myself from exposing us for what we are. But I only thought of that excuse later. At the time, all I could think was, 'Not her.”

“Excuse me? You're the one who was out to mislead me with your alluring bimbo slinkiness! What if I had believed your act last night? What if I had fallen deeply and madly in love with you? You would have had the blood of my love-sickness on your hands, Leila Folger.”