“listen, a goad's anything that provokes or incites an enemy---let me have a go: cursed deamon! you have met your end! the shivering fire awaits you! i shall spread your vile essance across this hall like... um, like margarine, a very think layer of it...---ye-es... im not sure he'll pick up on that analogy. never mind, keep going.”

“A typical master. Right to the end, he didn’t give me a chance to get a word in edgeways. Which is a pity, because at that last moment I’d have liked to tell him what I thought of him. Mind you, since in that split second we were, to all intents and purposes, one and the same, I rather think he knew anyway.”

“Listen,” I began, “this is an established, traditional form that—”“Traditional nothing. Where are your clothes?”“Clothes?” I said weakly. “I don’t normally bother with them in this guise.”“Well, you could put on a pair of shorts, at least. You’re not decent.”“I’m not sure they’d go with the wings….” The demon frowned, blinked. “Hold on, enough of this!”“Lederhosen would. They’d compliment the leather.”

“Much has happened since last we met, Bartimaeus," he went on. "Do you remember how we parted?""No." I did."You set light to me, old friend. Struck a match and left me burning in a copse."The crow shifted uneasily beneath the cleaver."That's a gesture of endearment in some cultures. Some hug, some kiss, some set each other on fire in small patches of woodland...”

“According to some, heroic deaths are admirable things. I've never been convinced by this argument, mainly because, no matter how cool, stylish, composed, unflappable, manly, or defiant you are, at the end of the day you're also dead. Which is a little too permanent for my liking.”

“The afrit batted his eyelashes with a ostentatious lack of concern. "Indeed? Have you a name?""A name?" I cried. "I have MANY names! I am Bartimaeus! I am Sakhr al-Jinni! I am N'gorso the Mighty and the Serpent of Silver Plumes!"I paused dramatically. The young man looked blank. "Nope never heard of you. Now if you'll just-”

“Watch where you leave your victims! I stubbed my toe on that.”