“It's hard to imagine her ever having felt lost, but it's impossible to know the people your parents were before they were your parents.”

“But we were at your parents' dining table." I stare up at him, completely bewildered."No one's ever said no to me before. And it's so - hot.”

“Is there anything as incredible as the love story of your own parents? Anything as hard to grasp as the fact that those two over-the-hill players, permanently on the disabled list, were once in the starting lineup? It's impossible to imagine my father, who in my experience was aroused mainly by the lowering of interest rates, suffering the acute, adolescent passions of the flesh.”

“There was a young lady from GloucesterWho complained that her parents both bossed her,So she ran off to Maine.Did her parents complain?Not at all -- they were glad to have lost her.”

“You know how people are always saying your parents are always right? "Follow your parents' advice; they know what's good for you." And you know how no one ever listens to this advice, because even if it's true it's so annoying and condescending that it just make you want to go, like, develop a meth addiction and have unprotected sex with eighty seven thousand anonymous partners?”

“It's especially hard to admit that you made a mistake to your parents, because, of course, you know so much more than they do.”