“I may have overmothered you and screwed you up in ways large and small, but I think it’s time you took some measure of responsibility for where you choose to put your own penis.”

“I love the way that each book -- any book -- is its own journey. You open it, and off you go. You are changed in some way, large or small, by having traveled with those characters.”

“Whatever they may say, your story is truly your own. You have a responsibility to it, the way a father has to a child”

“It’s not that I don’t want to, Keel. Because I do. I really do. It’s just, I can’t do it like this. You have too much already going on. You just told me you can’t choose between Nick and the Demon. I don’t want to be another option for you to choose from. And I can’t just be a distraction. I could say screw it and enjoy this moment, but we would both regret it. Nick’s my friend, and the way I want to be with you, it’s sort of in a long term way. I’m smart enough to know that if I kissed you now, it would end up being a bitter memory for both of us. I can’t share you. And I can’t lose you.”

“Seeing how I've held your penis in my hand, I think that puts you firmly in the not a stranger category.”

“What the hell? We’re all screwed up some way. At least you bathe and I don’t have to fight you for chicks. In my book, that makes you all right.”