“In case there was any doubt, there is a secret government agency that monitors all the things that normal government agencies vehemently deny any existence and subsequent involvement of. Such as extra-terrestrial life (like Mick Jagger), paranormal activity (like Justin Beiber), and the purely unexplainable (like Big Burger Boys). Regular government agencies have to deny the existence of this secret agency because, essentially, they don’t know that it exists.”

“We need to understand the more government spends, the more freedom is lost...Instead of simply debating spending levels, we ought to be debating whether the departments, agencies, and programs funded by the budget should exist at all.”

“Because it is a monopoly, government brings inefficiency and stagnation to most things it runs; government agencies pursue the inflation of their budgets rather than the service of their customers; pressure groups form an unholy alliance with agencies to extract more money from taxpayers for their members. Yet despite all this, most clever people still call for government to run more things and assume that if it did so, it would somehow be more perfect, more selfless, next time.”

“It is strange to me that most people assume companies will be imperfect (as they are), but they assume that government agencies will be perfect, which they are not.”

“I had a nice, long, hot shower but didn't come up with any great ideas. What a waste.”

“When in doubt: more coffee.”

“Make no mistake: it's not that I actively dislike you. That would take an effort on my part that I have absolutely no interest in exerting on behalf of such an insignificant little man such as yourself. No, I am indifferent towards you with absolutely no hope for an upgrade.”