“You know your cat is fucking with you when she poops in the litter box and somehow manages to miss the litter.”

“Sure, okay, I'll pick up some cat litter. Anything else?""Watch your back, G." Then she hung up.Hero paused in her sobbing to look at me quizzically. "Why does your mom want cat litter? You guys don't even have a cat.""She uses it for..." I searched my brain madly, but all I could come up with was "teaching.""She uses cat litter to teach English?"I nodded. "She's kind of unconventional in her methods."Hero frowned. "But how does she use it?"The girl was relentless when she fixated on something. "Um, when their papers are really bad, she gives them a little bag of cat litter. It's her way of telling them their writing is crap." I laughed. "She's kooky.”

“I had the phone in my hand all set to dial when Drew had finally decided to tell me that he pooped in the litter box a few times to see what it was like.”

“You ass-sniffing, butt-crack licking, litter-box-using fuckhole!”

“Standing in cat litter is not the same as walking on the beach. Trust me, you can’t pee on the beach.”

“Max?” “Hmm?” “Will I have to use a litter box?” “Emma!”