“A typical weeknight when he was home like this:1. Sit down and try to do homework.2. Get interrupted by Jeffrey: “Please play with me!”3. Ignore brother, try to do homework.4. Get interrupted by Jeffrey: “Come ON, Steven! I’m BORED!”5. Beg Jeffrey for five minutes of peace.6. Get begged for five minutes of play: “Steven, you never, ever play with me—ever!”7. Move entire homework operations center to different room.8. Repeat steps #1-7 as directed by small drugged maniac.”

“The only time I can ever remember Steven crying over any of it was after my treatment, when I tried to use my foot on his bass drum pedal, and we realized I could never play a drum set.”

“This was the kid who used to toddle over to my bed at 6 o’ clock in the morning every weekend morning to pull on my blankets so I’d get up and watch cartoons with him. This was the kid who once made me play Hungry Hungry Hippos for an hour straight, until I thought my hands were going to fall off from slamming down those dumb little levers to make the hippos’ heads move. This was the kid who had spent an entire days at a time begging me to play Chutes and Ladders with him. And now he was feeling too sick to play with me.”

“Finally the kitchen clock said 5:17. It was time to roll out. I shouted for my mom, woke Jeffrey up, ran upstairs, changed into my concert clothes, put on my shoes, and was standing by the door to the garage by 5:19—chanting “Let’s go! Come on!” (Feel free to try that at home, by the way; moms love it!)”

“Did you really JUST fall, Jeffrey?Why does everybody in my family talk in these dramatic CAPITAL LETTERS all the time? Why am I the only calm one?”

“Me: Well, you see, I, uh, I'm a cancer survivor.Person #1: And how's that working out for you?Me: Well, you see, I, uh, used to have leukemia.Person #2: Dude, how come you're not, like, BALD?Me: Well, you see, I, uh, I had acute lymphocytic lymphoma when I was five.Person #3: Whoa. THAT must'a sucked. I once had my tonsils out...”

“Steven, I know I phrased that as a question, but it was really a command.Yes, but mine is…ummm…private.Private, Steven?Yes, Miss Palma.PRIVATE Steven?Again with the capital letters?”