“Annette had kissed me.Who would’a thunk it?”

“Renee was beautiful, but she was my friend now. On the other hand, Annette was my friend, but now she was beautiful. makes about as much sense as anything ever does with girls”

“Well your mom was right, in a way.What do you mean? He DID fall, right? So he wasn’t safe on the stool.Thanks, Annette. Thanks a lot. That’s exactly what I needed to hear right now. You’re a very inspiring person, you know that?”

“Take care, Jeffy. I’ll see you soon, right? Just remember not to throw food at the nurses. I don’t want to get any complaint calls, OK?Steven, I don’t throw food at…oh, that was a joke, right?Yup, buddy boy. It was a joke. But seriously, no kissing the nurses on the lips, either. It messes up their makeup.Eeeeeeewwwww!”

“Me: Well, you see, I, uh, I'm a cancer survivor.Person #1: And how's that working out for you?Me: Well, you see, I, uh, used to have leukemia.Person #2: Dude, how come you're not, like, BALD?Me: Well, you see, I, uh, I had acute lymphocytic lymphoma when I was five.Person #3: Whoa. THAT must'a sucked. I once had my tonsils out...”

“He said he "admired our courage" but didn't want to see us do anything to "damage our promising futures." He felt "proud as an American" that we had "exercised our right to peaceful free expression." But if we did it again, he didn't "know what action the state board of education might take against individual students."Translation: You've had your fun. Now sit down, shut up, and take the freakin' test. Or else.”

“Tattitude: Wow, Jeff, who's the babe?Dangerous_pie: Your mom.Tattitude: No, the one three feet away from you.Dangerous_pie: Oh, that's Lindsey Abraham. I had her flown in from California for my personal amusement. You can look at her if you want, though.Tattitude: Sweet. But have you talked to her yet?Dangerous_pie: Uh-huh. We're really close.Tattitude: Intro me?Dangerous_pie: After class.Tattitude: Duh.Just then, I noticed that a large shadow had fallen over my screen. I couldn't even bear to look up as Mr. Laurenzano said, "Thaddeus Ibsen, Lindsey Abraham. Lindsey, Thaddeus. There, you've been introduced. NOW can I teach some science?"Wow, it looked like this was going to be my year for unusual teachers.”