“Hi, Tad!' she said. 'Hi, Jeff! Hey, I'm not interrupting anything, am I?''Uh, no,' I said. 'We were just...I mean, Tad was...uh, nope.''So what were you guys talking about?''Well,' I said, 'it's very complicated. We were discussing...umm...hats. You know, hats. Like, the head kind.''There's another kind?' Lindsey asked.'Hey, Jeff?' Tad said. 'If your mom needs any evidence to prove that you're retarded, let me know. I'd be glad to record you talking to Lindsey. I'm pretty sure that would do the trick.”

“And you're blind?"Uh-huh," Iggy said, trying to sound bored.Were you born that way?"No."How did you become blind, uh, Jeff, is it?"Yeah, Jeff. Well, I looked directly at the sun, you know, the way they always tell you not to. If only I had listened.”

“Hey, uh, you know. Um. If you’re alive, uh, call me." I looked at the screen and said, "It's Jane." I closed the phone, thinking, Lame. I am so lame.”

“I would not be young again, if you offered me the world. But then I'm prejudiced.''You talk,' I said, 'as if you were ninety-nine.''For a woman I very nearly am,' she said. 'I'm thirty five.”

“And, well, mine are kind of on the heavy side anyway. The first day or two, I don't want to do ANYTHING. Make sure you keep away from me then.'I'd like to, but how can I tell?' I asked.O.K., I'll wear a hat for a couple of days after my period starts. A red one. That should work,' she said with a laugh. 'If you see me on the street and I'm wearing a red hat, don't talk to me, just run away.”

“I said I was sorry, Dani..." Kevin said, as they entered the apartment."I'm so not talking to you.""I couldn't help it! She was so funny, and you were blushing, and... gawd, Dani, I couldn't help it!""You just had to get us all soft pretzels, didn't you... just had to make sure we'd walk right by that lingerie store...""Dani... it, uh, it hadn't even occurred to me-""I hate you! When I go to therapy about this, I'm going to send you the bill!""You're beautiful when your angry.""Then I must be fucking gorgeous right now!""You are.""... Well, I'm still not talking to you.”