“Take care, Jeffy. I’ll see you soon, right? Just remember not to throw food at the nurses. I don’t want to get any complaint calls, OK?Steven, I don’t throw food at…oh, that was a joke, right?Yup, buddy boy. It was a joke. But seriously, no kissing the nurses on the lips, either. It messes up their makeup.Eeeeeeewwwww!”

“Don’t touch me, Nora. (Ewan)Why? (Nora)If you touch me, I’ll kiss you, and if I kiss you right now, I’m not sure I’ll have the strength to pull back and be satisfied with just the taste of your lips. (Ewan)”

“I was taken to an examining room where a big butch nurse practitioner came in and asked me if I was pregnant. “No way!” Was I sexually active? “Nope!” Had I ever been molested? “Well,” I said, trying to make a joke, “Oprah says the only answers to that question are ‘Yes’ and ‘I don’t remember.’ ” I laughed. We were having fun. The nurse looked at me, concerned/annoyed.”

“Jack throws his hands up. “Okay, is this some kind of a joke? Seriously, you are being the voice of reason here? I can’t handle this. Please start freaking out.”

“I don't know. When I was born there was a nurse taking care of me.""What's the matter? Couldn't the nurse take care of herself?" "Sure she could. I just found that out too late.”

“I was joking about my clones to my family when my uncle Herman said, “Don’t do that. Don’t make fun of yourself and others at the same time.” And he’s right. It is confusing. Am I mocking myself, or joking at the expense of someone else?”