“The sun is high and I’m surrounded by sand.For as far as my eyes can seeI’m strapped into a rocking chairWith a blanket over my kneesI am a stranger to myselfAnd nobody knows I’m hereWhen I looked into my faceIt wasn’t myself I’d seenBut who I’ve tried to be.I’m thinking of things I’d hoped to forget.I’m choking to death in a sun that never sets.I clugged up my mind with perpetual griefAnd turned all my friends into enemiesAnd now that past has returned to haunt me.I’M SCARED OF GOD AND SCARED OF HELLAND I’M CAVING IN UPON MYSELFHOW CAN ANYONE KNOW MEWHEN I DON’T EVEN KNOW MYSELF”

“When I think about the past and how blind I was in that life, I compare it to being a god and losing everything when being cast out. I had the unlimited power to destroy myself and everything around me. It’s like having been in a cave for years and I’m finally out of the cave. The sun burns my eyes and skin. I don’t recognize my surroundings. No one looks authentic, and now I’m on the hunt for people that have the pieces to my puzzle that will help me on my quest. I have no cave to hide in, and I’m just left with the sediment of a previous life and my own mortality.”

“I’ve found the things I’ve regretted most in my life are the things I wanted to do but never had the courage to try. And I’m beginning to think I don’t want you to become one of my what-if-I’d-only-tried-it regrets.”

“There are some things about myself I can’t explain to anyone. There are some things I don’t understand at all. I can’t tell what I think about things or what I’m after. I don’t know what my strengths are or what I’m supposed to do about them. But if I start thinking about these things in too much detail the whole thing gets scary. And if I get scared I can only think about myself. I become really self-centered, and without meaning to, I hurt people. So I’m not such a wonderful human being.”

“But then you ... you come along. You screwed up my plan. Suddenly my life’s not liveable, it’s not fine and I’m no longer happy. My life’s worse, much more worse than before ... and it’s all because of you. I’m scared of you. I run from you. And I push you away ... but why? Because I am scared of you, I’m scared of my feelings for you ... I’m scared of losing you. But mostly ... mostly I’m scared that if I don’t hold on too tight ... I’m scared that I’ll lose you forever.”

“I closed my eyes.“Are you okay?”“I’m tired. My knee is hurting again and I’m trying to teleport myself upstairs.”“Um, Kate, you can’t do that.”“I know. But I’m trying very hard. Let me know if I start fading?”