“I don't hate anyone. but if someone I knew ever got hit by a bus... I'd probably be driving it.”

“Really? If I could hate my trainer? That would be ideal. I'd prefer to despise this person with the fire of ten thousand suns. So when I walk - nay, crawl - out of here at the end of my workouts, I want to lull myself to sleep by picturing my very talented and inspirational trainer getting hit by a bus. A bus that I am driving.”

“Charlie Brown got hit with a line-drive!""Does anyone here know anything about first-aid?""It's probably not serious... Second or third-aid will do.”

“I mean, I knew I wasn't a nice person, but what did I do in my past life to deserve this? I must have hit a bus full of nuns while driving a stolen car on my way to selling drugs to schoolchildren!”

“I don't think I was ever...trying to kill myself but I knew that if I'd ever gone too far...I wouldn't care.”

“If I wanted to stun anyone at dinner, I'd hit them in the face.”