“When I was young, I used to think I was the weirdest person in the world. But then I thought there are so many people in the world, there must be someone else out there who felt the same as me. Maybe that person might be out there wondering about me too? Well, I hope that if you are out there and read this... just know, that yes, it’s true I’m here and we're both weirdos!”

“I used to think I was the strangest person in the worldbut then I thought, there are so many people in the world, there must be someone just like me who feels bizarre and flawed in the same ways I doI would imagine her, and imagine that she must be out there thinking of me too.well, I hope that if you are out there you read this and know that yes, it’s true I’m here, and I’m just as strange as you.”

“What is this, Tom”“It’s the beginning, January.”“Of what?” She asked me seriously.“Well have all the time in the world to talk about that. It’s too deep to get into it right now but know this, I’m tired of pretending. So weary of it. I forgot myself when I lost who I thought Kelly was to me, but you’ve shown me what I think, no, I know no one else could have shown me.”“And what’s that?”“That I don’t want to be lost anymore. I – I want you.”

“Watching her talk to someone else made me crazy. I was jealous. Ridiculous. I wanted her to know me; I wanted her to talk to me. And I felt it then: this strange, inexplicable sense that she might be the only person in the world I could really care about.”

“When we're not together, I want to be. When we're not touching, I hold out hope for just the slightest, accidental graze. You're all I think about and it's because my whole world is falling for you. Hard.”

“This kind of thing is so awkward and horrible, and from your end, you know it must… Okay, I’m just going to come out and tell you: I’m asking you out. That’s what I’m doing. Please don’t answer yet, because I know you might have a “No” queued up in your head already, but will you please let me say a few things? I know that being a woman in New York must be hard, because it’s basically disappointing that you try to be nice to men as human beings, and then they respond by just torpedoing to your vagina. And I want you to know that I’m aware that you’re young and beautiful - and I’m not… either of those things. And part of me knows that as soon as my lips stop moving, you’re going to say no. But please think of the fact that it’s low risk what I’m asking. You just come out with me for a drink, and even if you got up in the middle of the one drink, I wouldn’t hold it against you. Just make a judgement based on nothing horrible would happen if you came out with me. I think you’re so attractive. I’m attracted to you because you’re nice, and you’re a decent person, and those are probably the reasons you want people to be attracted to you, right? Also, you’re horribly cute. I mean, you’re cute as hell. And I grow on people - women. Some times go by, and you get past the bald head and that I sweat a lot and I’m lumpy… I’ve run out of things to say. Can you just tell me now? Did this work?”