“He was there below me, and, upon my word, to look at him was as edifying as seeing a dog in a parody of breeches and a featherhat, walking on his hind legs.”

“Sir, a woman's preaching is like a dog's walking on his hind legs. It is not done well; but you are surprised to find it done at all.”

“(On literary festivals) When you go and see a band play live, you are watching it do on stage what it is meant to do. When you watch an author perform live, you are, most of the time, watching a dog walk on its hind legs. ”

“O Shepherd. You said you would make my feet like hinds' feet and set me upon High Places"."Well", he answered "the only way to develop hinds' feet is to go by the paths which the hinds use.”

“One day I was on a walk with him and my dog, Angus, who was sniffing around in a bush outside a neighbor’s house. My dad turned to me and said, “Look at the dog’s asshole.”“What? Why?”“You can tell by the dilation of his asshole that he’s going to shit soon. See. There it goes.”It was at that moment, as my dog emptied his bowels in my neighbor’s yard and my dad stood there proudly watching his prediction come true, that I realized how wise, even prophetic, he really is.”

“When you have got an elephant by the hind legs and he is trying to run away. it's best to let him run".”