“Darling, we’re going to have a baby again,’ she would say to her husband.I haven’t the time,’ Lieutenant Scheisskopf would grumble petulantly. ‘Don’t you know there’s a parade going on?”

“Why don't you ever whip me?" she pouted one night."Because I haven't the time," he snapped at her impatiently. "I haven't the time. Don't you know there's a parade going on?”

“Last night in the latrine. Didn't you whisper that we couldn't punish you to that other dirty son of a bitch we don't like? What's his name?""Yossarian, sir," Lieutenant Scheisskopf said."Yes, Yossarian. That's right. Yossarian. Yossarian? Is that his name? Yossarian? What the hell kind of a name is Yossarian?"Lieutenant Scheisskopf had the facts at his finger tips. "It's Yossarian's name, sir," he explained.”

“Clevinger was a troublemaker and a wise guy. Lieutenant Scheisskopf knew that Clevinger might cause even more trouble if he wasn't watched. Yesterday it was the cadet officers; tomorrow it might be the world. Clevinger had a mind, and Lieutenant Scheisskopf had noticed that people with minds tended to get pretty smart at times. Such men were dangerous, and even the new cadet officers whom Clevinger had helped into office were eager to give damning testimony against him. The case against Clevinger was open and shut. The only thing missing was something to charge him with.”

“I’m cold,' Snowden said softly, 'I’m cold.''You’re going to be all right, kid,' Yossarian reassured him with a grin. 'You’re going to be all right.''I’m cold,' Snowden said again in a frail, childlike voice. 'I’m cold.''There, there,' Yossarian said, because he did not know what else to say. 'There, there.''I’m cold,' Snowden whimpered. 'I’m cold.''There, there. There, there.”

“Clevinger had a mind, and Lieutenant Scheisskoph had noticed that people with minds tended to get pretty smart at times.”

“Who will marry me? No one wants a girl who is not a virgin.""I will. I'll marry you.""Ma non posso sposarti." "And why can't you marry me?""Perché sei pazzo!""And why am I crazy?""Perché vuoi sposarmi.""Because I want to marry you. Carina, ti amo," he explained, and he drew her gently back down to the pillow. "Te amo molto.""Tu sei pazzo," she murmured in reply, flattered. "Perché?""Because you say you love me. How can you love a girl who is not a virgin?""Because I can't marry you."She bolted right up again in a threatening rage. "Why can't you marry me?" she demanded, ready to clout him again if he gave an uncomplimentary reply. "Just because I am not a virgin?""No, no darling. Because you're crazy.”