“From now on I'm thinking only of me."Major Danby replied indulgently with a superior smile: "But, Yossarian, suppose everyone felt that way.""Then," said Yossarian, "I'd certainly be a damned fool to feel any other way, wouldn't I?”

“How do you feel Yossarian?""Fine. No, I'm very frightened.""That's good," said Major Danby. "It proves you're still alive. It won't be fun."Yossarian started out. "Yes it will.”

“Colonel Cathcart is our commanding officer and we must obey him. Why don't you fly four more missions and see what happens?""I don't want to.""Suppose we let you pick your missions and fly milk runs?" Major Major said. "That way you can fly the four missions and not run any risks.""I don't want to fly milk runs. I don't want to be in the war anymore.""Would you like to see our country lose?" Major Major asked."We won't lose. We've got more men, more money, and more material. There are ten million men in uniform who could replace me. Some people are getting killed and a lot more are making money and having fun. Let somebody else get killed.""But suppose everybody on our side felt that way?""Then I'd certainly be a damned fool to feel any other way. Wouldn't I?”

“Last night in the latrine. Didn't you whisper that we couldn't punish you to that other dirty son of a bitch we don't like? What's his name?""Yossarian, sir," Lieutenant Scheisskopf said."Yes, Yossarian. That's right. Yossarian. Yossarian? Is that his name? Yossarian? What the hell kind of a name is Yossarian?"Lieutenant Scheisskopf had the facts at his finger tips. "It's Yossarian's name, sir," he explained.”

“They're trying to kill me," Yossarian told him calmly.No one's trying to kill you," Clevinger cried.Then why are they shooting at me?" Yossarian asked.They're shooting at everyone," Clevinger answered. "They're trying to kill everyone."And what difference does that make?”

“Perfect is overrated. Perfect is boring."I smile. "You don't think I'm perfect?""No. You're delightfully screwy, and I wouldn't have you any other way.”