“You know why God invented Golf?' Service asked the ME, who shrugged. 'To keep assholes off trout streams.”

“God who protects my people I call upon you to send away the murahaleen. Protect me God protect my family as they run. Oh God of the sky, keep me safe tonight. Keep me hidden, keep me quiet. Oh God of rain, let me find water. Let me not die of thirst. Oh God of the soul, why are you doing this? I have done nothing to ask for this. I'm a boy. I'm a boy. Would you send this to a lamb? You have no right.”

“Please God, please God, can you please tell me why? I ask this of you, yet in my heart, I know.”

“You are a complete asshole, you know that?”“I’ve been called worse,” he said, helping me off the stool.”

“Who knows why you kids do any of the crap you do?""And who knows why you guys are such assholes?" Lex countered, taking a sip of her soda. "Life is just full of little mysteries, isn't it?”

“Golf is a worrier's game, inward, concentrated, a matter of inches, invented by the same people who gave us Presbyterianism.”