“The difference between life and the movies is that a script has to make sense, and life doesn't.”

“Remind me to tell you about the time I looked into the heart of an artichoke.”

“There is no such thing as realistic dialogue. If you [simply recorded] the real conversation of any people and played it back from the stage, it would be impossible to listen to. It would be redundant . . . . The good dialogue writer is the one who can give you the impression of real speech.”

“When criticism doesn't make sense, it is usually coming from a different place.”

“It doesn't make a damned bit of difference who wins the war to someone who's dead.”

“The only difference between you and the person you admire is their perspective on life.”

“Why are they going to disappear him?'I don't know.'It doesn't make sense. It isn't even good grammar.”