“She decided that if Lucas was gay then she was going to have to get a sex change operation. He would be so worth it.”

“As he walked out of the locker room he stripped off his bloody shirt and threw it in the garbage. Helen’s vision stabilized again, and she watched his bare back moving away from her. The last cobwebs clearing from her eyes, she decided that if Lucas was gay then she was going to have to get a sex change operation. He would be so worth it.”

“Helen's modest. She wanted to dress herself," Ariadne said, drizzling honey over a bowl of oatmeal and putting it down in front of Helen."Modest? Sure she is," Hector said sarcastically as he passed Lucas the bacon."That was YOUR SISTER'S nightgown, wasn't it?" Lucas asked without skipping a beat as he served Helen and himself.Hector wisely shut his mouth."Yeah," Ariadne replied for him, not getting it. "So comfortable! What? What are you all laughing at?”

“Helen decided that the saying about "time healing all wounds" was a bunch of bull and probably only worked for people with very poor memories. The time she's spent apart from Lucas hadn't healed anything. The distance only made her miss him more.”

“When she got downstairs, the whole family was in the kitchen, including Lucas. His face lit up like Vegas when he saw her. She automatically went straight to him and sat down, her hopes of a quiet escape ruined by what felt like a knee-jerk reaction. She hadn’t intended to stay for breakfast, but it was almost as if she needed to be near him.”

“Helen felt as if the whole world had turned into some gigantic punch line that she had waited patiently for, and then when she heard it she found it insulting. If she had been in a comedy club she would have gotten up and walked out, but instead she had to go to the comedian's house after school and let his cousin beat the crap out of her.”

“Do you have any idea how late it is? Go to sleep," she scolded as she hurried past him. "I know, I'm going to bed right now ... Hey! YOU go to sleep," Jerry scolded back, belatedly remembering that he was the parent.”