“Her back to me, she said, “I know what Paul thinks. Everyone thinks I didn’t love Porter, that I just married him for the money, but Porter and I --” She shrugged.As avowals of lasting love go, I’ve sat through more professional presentations.But I said, “No outsider can understand a relationship between two people.” Hell, sometimes even the people in the relationship couldn’t understand it.”

“She went on, “Yes, Porter and I did discuss divorce, and we realized we loved each other too much to do anything so silly.”“That’s got to be a comfort to you now,” I said. “I can imagine how painful it would be to have someone you care for die with a lot of unresolved --”“Yes!” she exclaimed. “That is exactly right!” She gave me an approving lashless gaze.“See, gay guys always understand these things!”“We’re born with that understanding gene,” I said.”

“She shrugged another plump shoulder. “I never listened to Porter when he got going.”Ah. At last. The secret to a successful marriage.”

“It means I know you, Adrien with an e, and I know you get reckless when you're impatient. You're paying for this investigation, and I'll keep you apprised every step of the way, but if you even think about going rogue on this one, I'm turning in my fedora and you can hire some other dick."I don't want any other dick. I closed my mouth on that one—metaphorically speaking—and said, “I don't know why the hell everyone seems to think I'm so reckless—”

“Emma sat up very straight in the saddle. Her eyes were huge, but she said bravely, “I could do it!”“I know you can.”“I wasn’t afraid.”“There’s nothing wrong with being afraid,” I told her. “It’s how you handle it.”

“Natalie said, “That detective in charge of the case: is he your Jake?”My mouth dried. The words felt arid and dusty as I forced them out. “Who told you his name?” Like I had to ask.“Lisa pointed him out on television the other night, and I recognized him as one of the cops who was in here the other day.”I opened my mouth, and then shut it. Jake had to know he was fighting a rearguard action. And I was through lying to my own friends and family. “Yeah,” I said. “We used to be friends. A long time ago. He’s married now.”“Bastard,” she said.I shook my head. “Not really. He never lied to me. I just didn’t ask the questions I didn’t want to know the answers to.”

“Look, Paul. I appreciate what you’re telling me, but I gave Jake my word. Not to mention the fact, he’d throw my ass in jail if he found out I tried to go around him.”“He wouldn’t, you know,” he said. “Jake’s a pussycat.”Yeah, just a big old saber-toothed tiger.”