“Kevin refilled my plastic cup with more box wine. I smiled thanks. Kevin smiled welcome. Jake kicked my ankle.”

“Shrugging out of the damaged shirt, Jake said roughly, “I still dream about you.”“I have nightmares about you.” I dragged my T-shirt over my head, threw it aside.”

“I liked you the first time I saw you. You were sitting on the floor surrounded by books, and you looked up when I opened the door and smiled right at me. It felt like you had been waiting for me, like you were welcoming me home.”

“I love you," Jake whispered. "Are you strong enough for this?"I made myself comfortable. Said over my shoulder, "Sure.""Would you tell me if you weren't?"I grinned. "Maybe. I can't think of a nicer way to commit suicide.""That's good. I can't think of a more pleasant way to commit murder.”

“Jake's mouth found mine, his lips molding hot and soft to my own. His tongue tentatively tested the seal of my lips; I parted them and he pushed inside. It was startlingly sweet and achingly familiar, like finding harbor.”

“Natalie said, “That detective in charge of the case: is he your Jake?”My mouth dried. The words felt arid and dusty as I forced them out. “Who told you his name?” Like I had to ask.“Lisa pointed him out on television the other night, and I recognized him as one of the cops who was in here the other day.”I opened my mouth, and then shut it. Jake had to know he was fighting a rearguard action. And I was through lying to my own friends and family. “Yeah,” I said. “We used to be friends. A long time ago. He’s married now.”“Bastard,” she said.I shook my head. “Not really. He never lied to me. I just didn’t ask the questions I didn’t want to know the answers to.”

“Look, Paul. I appreciate what you’re telling me, but I gave Jake my word. Not to mention the fact, he’d throw my ass in jail if he found out I tried to go around him.”“He wouldn’t, you know,” he said. “Jake’s a pussycat.”Yeah, just a big old saber-toothed tiger.”