“She went on, “Yes, Porter and I did discuss divorce, and we realized we loved each other too much to do anything so silly.”“That’s got to be a comfort to you now,” I said. “I can imagine how painful it would be to have someone you care for die with a lot of unresolved --”“Yes!” she exclaimed. “That is exactly right!” She gave me an approving lashless gaze.“See, gay guys always understand these things!”“We’re born with that understanding gene,” I said.”

“I noticed you right away.” She gave me an approving look. “I like quiet, polite men. And men who wear Hugo Boss. I was hoping you weren’t gay. Or that you were only half-gay. Like Paul.”“Uh…sorry,” I said. “It’s pretty much full-time now. The pay’s not great, but the perks…”

“Her back to me, she said, “I know what Paul thinks. Everyone thinks I didn’t love Porter, that I just married him for the money, but Porter and I --” She shrugged.As avowals of lasting love go, I’ve sat through more professional presentations.But I said, “No outsider can understand a relationship between two people.” Hell, sometimes even the people in the relationship couldn’t understand it.”

“I gave a helpless laugh. “Damned if I know. I think…we seem to have reached impasse.I feel betrayed by your friendship with Verlane. I realize that’s not logical. I realize that if I’d made the mistakes Verlane has made, I’d want my friends to stand by me, hope that someone would help me when the time came. I just…”“What?”I met his eyes. “I just need to come first for someone, Guy.”

“I was hoping you weren't gay. Or that you were only half-gay. Like Paul.""Uh...sorry," I said. "It's pretty much full-time now. The pay's not great, but the perks...”

“So, tomorrow night. My house or yours?""Mine. I...want to show you something.""Oh yes?” Will said hopefully, suggestively.There was a smile in Taylor's voice, but he sounded absent. “Will?""Right here."There was a pause. “When I was shot—"Will's heart quickened; he wasn't even sure why. “Yeah?""It wasn't because of you...turning me down. It wasn't because my mind wasn't on the job.""No?""No. I know—at least, I think I do—that you thought you were somehow to blame for me getting nailed. It wasn't anything to do with you.” He heard Taylor sigh. “It was when I saw how young they were. Kids. And I hesitated. I hesitated a couple of seconds too long. That's all."Something inside Will relaxed, like the clutch of a child's hand on a balloon. The balloon went sailing free and happy.(...)He couldn't even explain why he felt so happy. “You think I'm with you out of guilt?""No, you ass. Of course not. I just mean—""You're a nut, MacAllister. I'm with you because I love you."There it was, out. Three little words. Three of the most common words in the world, but string them together and they were more powerful than any warrant, any extradition papers, or even treaty. Stronger than any magical spell. Had he really never said them aloud to Taylor? Something in the ringing silence that followed made him think he maybe hadn't.It was a relief when Taylor said, at last, in that irritable voice that always signified nerves or great emotion, “That's fine. I just thought you should know.""I love you,” Will repeated firmly, having got the hang of it. “I'll see you tomorrow night, you lunatic.""Love you,” Taylor said tersely and hung up.Taylor stared at the receiver in its cradle and then got ready for bed.”

“Emma sat up very straight in the saddle. Her eyes were huge, but she said bravely, “I could do it!”“I know you can.”“I wasn’t afraid.”“There’s nothing wrong with being afraid,” I told her. “It’s how you handle it.”