“They say theres a Heaven...but all I've ever been through is Hell.”

“Well the first time hurts no joke xDbut after that its just so much fun. like i dont even know how to descripe it. Take eating your favorite food, your favorite song, and everything that you love.Thats sex...”

“At the age of six I wanted to be a cook. At seven I wanted to be Napoleon. And my ambition has been growing steadily ever since.”

“The only threesome I've ever experienced is with Pantene 2 in 1”

“We are all hungry and thirsty for concrete images. Abstract art will have been good for one thing: to restore its exact virginity to figurative art.”

“the only drinking problem I've ever had, is figuring out why I'm still stuck in this salad spinner”

“When she says 'I've never done this before" she just means with you”