“Pulling out onto the highway I noticed a stone pillar commemorating the Donner Party. They were a true testament to the American spirit, push forward at all costs and eat the dead when necessary. Wasn’t that the American dream in a nutshell.”

“A pink puff danced off his head. And he was dead. His eyes would haunt me later. But not then. Then, it was killing time.”

“There is nothing quite like the cold taste of gun oil on a stainless steel barrel to bring your life into focus. ”

“Like most people raised on American movies, I have poor access to my emotions, but can banter like a motherfucker.”

“There was something else amusing about the house: the irony that the most important battle of the American Revolution--the shoot-out at the Old North Bridge--had taken place just outside the residence of the pacifist Ralph Waldo Emerson. True, Emerson was born after the battle in 1803, but his grandfather had been living in the house at the time of the Revolution, and the juxtaposition of such pacifism against such violence struck Paul as a symbol of an eternal truth about American history: Nixon, that goofy Vietnam War mortician, was right: the silent majority ruled (not the rebellious, pacifist fringe); the majority killed for their property; and there was nothing really revolutionary about the minutemen , who won a war and took over the entire country to ultimately build fast-food restaurants and Disneyland while abolitionists, pacifists, hippies, and environmentalists were left to make well-intended flatulent noises--to write poems such as Ginsberg's "Howl"--in books for other defeated noisemakers. ”

“Thy will be done today. Today is a day of completion. I give thanks for this perfect day. Miracle shall follow miracle, and wonders shall never cease.”

“I can’t figure out where you put all that,” Tucker observed. “You eat like a horse.” “It goes straight to my cock”