“Opportunity Knocks Only Once'…Twice if it’s selling Girl Scout Cookies..."
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“I once tried out for the Girl Scouts. I only went to one meeting. I ate all their cookies and then left.”

“He landed on cheap shot, but I knocked him out of the tournament.”

“What are you doing here?” [ndr prison]Selling Girl Scout cookies,” I said. “Want some? The Samoas are terrific.”(Max II to Max)”

“I'm a thirty-something gay man with a dodgy heart. I sell books for a living. Who wants to read about that?”

“One thing I’ve noticed about getting older, it takes twice as much work to get half the results one formerly achieved by falling out of bed.”

“According to the fortune-cookie logic most people live by, the best things in life are free. That's crap. I have a gold-plated robot that scratches the exact part of my back where my hands can't reach, and it certainly wasn't free.”