“Behind every great man is a great woman' but in front of every great man should be a spectacular woman”

“The true genius of a Woman is her subtle flair in creating the illusion that you are the smart one”

“As for Chicks with Daddy Issues: Do I really want to be with a Woman who wants to be my Father?”

“Never send a Man in to do a Donkey's job”

“Give a man a fish and you will feed him for a day, give him some horns and he can be a Circus Seal act”

“Trashy Women should probably exclusively date Garbage Men”

“Dating should really be more like furniture store commercials....I would love to' pay no interest for 6 months”