“Dating should really be more like furniture store commercials....I would love to' pay no interest for 6 months”
“Trashy Women should probably exclusively date Garbage Men”
“Does speed dating necessarily end up in a quickie divorce....?”
“Date rape is just plain moronic when you consider how slutty figs are”
“If the second date seems to be going well, it's pretty much a given that by dessert I'll renounce my faith”
“I always fall butter side down”