“I hate cutting my wrists while shaving”

“I hate carrying a torch, which is weird because otherwise I'm such a pyromaniac”

“I'm playing chess while everyone else is playing checkers, that's why I always lose”

“If you love somebody set them free- it also works equally well if you hate somebody”

“While Sex without love is shallow, it's so profoundly uncomplicated”

“Women need a reason to have sex, while men just need an angle”

“I wish I had flaps of extra skin connecting my arms & legs like a Flying Squirrel & then spend my days at the park jumping from tree to tree”