“If my body is a Temple, then The Greeks and Romans ransacked it years ago”

“I wish I had flaps of extra skin connecting my arms & legs like a Flying Squirrel & then spend my days at the park jumping from tree to tree”

“I hate cutting my wrists while shaving”

“My recipe for success: Have someone else do it”

“I like two beautiful women on my arm- as human shields"
”

“At this point in my life, beaming confidence is largely a matter of mind over bladder control”

“My greatest fault is trying to stuff the baggage of an impossible situation into the trunk of an elegant solution”