“Revenge is a dish best served by a tennis racket”

“When it comes to exacting revenge, it gets harder and harder to top yourself each successive time”

“When it comes to relationships, I find it best to have two feet out the door”

“When you enter the Lions Den, it's best not to go empty-handed or you'll probably leave that way”

“Who enjoys life more? Well to start with, definitely the Living”

“My Anorexic Ex was so skinny she didn't give head, she gave skull”

“I'm not saying I'm an Alcoholic, but I do have prescription shot glasses”