“The line forms on the right, but I prefer the chaos on the left”

“There's a fine mascara line between genius and insanity”

“I married Miss Right, but didn't know at the time she had shortened her name from Righteouspainintheass”

“Some Women have this thermogenic effect on you, even after they've left, you can still breathe her scent, feel her electricity & be stunned”

“I wanted to marry the first girl that I fell in love with, but there were religious differences. I was an agnostic and she was a Polycarbonate”

“I always fall butter side down”

“I wish I had flaps of extra skin connecting my arms & legs like a Flying Squirrel & then spend my days at the park jumping from tree to tree”