“When Unicorns headbutt, there are no winners"
”

“When it comes to relationships, I find it best to have two feet out the door”

“Date rape is just plain moronic when you consider how slutty figs are”

“When she says 'I've never done this before" she just means with you”

“When it comes to exacting revenge, it gets harder and harder to top yourself each successive time”

“When you enter the Lions Den, it's best not to go empty-handed or you'll probably leave that way”

“I freely admit to enjoying the attentions Women lavish on me- Although it's usually when they're taking my order”