“People who stop laughing are always the ones who get hurt.”

“After all, truth is not always a virtue when it is pursued for its own sake or, worse, simply to make its teller feel morally superior. That's the problem with those who let the rules of religion overshadow its spirit -- which is, of course, love. And grace. In other words, there are times when telling an outright lie may be the most loving thing a person can do.”

“I kiss [her] even though I know that if you kiss a girl before you are married to her you might get AIDS.”

“Some days you just have to create your own sunshine.”

“Moorehead is one of those sad people who go into teaching so they can be worshipped by the only people sadder than they are - students.”

“It is amazing what you can accomplish if you do not care who gets the blame”

“There are only two kinds of people who are really fascinating: the truly creative and the truly medicated”