“You bailed on him? Wow, this is some drama-full stuff, like 'Fried Green Tomatoes' and shit”

“What did you think of him?" Cade asked."Give me some credit," Zach said. "Guy’s more full of shit than a duck pond.”

“Listen, boy, just ask the chef to make me a proper Full English Breakfast.You know, bacon, fried eggs, sausages, liver, grilled mushrooms and tomatoes, black pudding, kidneys, baked beans, fried bread, toast and served with strong English mustard, mind - none of this effete French muck - and a large mug of hot, strong Indian tea.”

“Yeah, well. If you're staying here in hopes of making out with Alaska, I sure wish you wouldn't. If you unmoor her from the rock that is Jake, God have mercy on us all. That would be some drama, indeed. And as a rule, I like to avoid drama.""It's not because I want to make out with her.""Hold on." He grabbed a pencil and scrawled excitedly at the paper as if he'd just made a mathematical breakthrough and then looked back up at me. "I just did some calculations, and I've been able to determine that you're full of shit." And he was right.”

“He’s good at this stuff.”“What stuff?”“Relationship stuff. He’s a natural. It’s weird, we’re new and we’re old. I can’t get my head around it.”“He’s shit at relationship stuff. He’s only good at it because it’s you.”“Sorry?”“You’re shit at it too, but only because it was never him.”

“My father would eat cat shit if it was salted, fried, or frosted, but it took an act of Congress to get him to eat a vegetable.”