“Oh my gosh, don’t you both look pretty!” We looked like rejects from the auditions for The Sound of Music.“I will have to buy them – they are meant to be yours!” Karla waved her credit card around like a wand.“What a shame they didn’t have one in green for me. But then, it is a young girl’s style. I would’ve looked foolish.”

“The style sounded like I look. What good would it do if I sounded like Sinatra? People would look at me and look at him and choose him.”

“When actors are too good-looking, I can’t memorize them. For example, I have never seen a picture of Sienna Miller where I didn’t say, “That girl’s pretty. Who is that?”

“First, I’d like to point out that I didn’t use ‘one of mine.’ You refused to let me pay for my ice cream cone with a good ol’ fashioned credit card, and you forced your pretend money on me. Secondly, I can’t take any currency seriously that looks like it belongs in a psychedelic-inspired Special Edition Monopoly box.”

“I can’t see through clothes or anything. Just glamour skin. Except I can see through all of you, since your clothes aren’t real.” I stopped, horrified. “I mean, I don’t look—It’s hard to see you, and I like looking at your real face, but I don’t try to see anything, because—Oh gosh, this sounds terrible.”He had a funny look on his face, like he wasn’t sure what to think. “Huh. That’s never been an issue before. Maybe next time you could bring me some shorts.”

“You didn’t look at Xan and think, “Gosh, I want to make love to him” or “Wouldn’t it be nice to have some sex with that guy”. No. You took one look at Xan and you fell to your quivering knees, thinking, “Holy shit, I need that man to fuck me.”