“Captain, I think you have a problem with your brain being missing.”

“That girl will rain destruction down on you and your ship. She is an albatross, Captain. Way I remember it, albatross was a ship's good luck, 'til some idiot killed it. (to Inara) Yes, I've read a poem. Try not to faint.”

“You can't just throw people at all your problems, dear.”

“Whedon: Studios will tell you: A woman cannot headline an action movie. After The Hunger Games they might stop telling you that a little bit. Whatever you think of the movie, it’s done a great service. And after The Avengers, I think it’s changing.Johansson: A lot of the female superhero movies just suck really badly.Whedon: The suck factor is not small.Johansson: They are really not well made, and already you’re fighting against the tide. There are a couple [female-driven action movies] that have worked-ish, don’t you think?Hemsworth: Angelina Jolie tends to do it pretty well, as the dominant female.Jackson: They got to get The Pro to the screen!Whedon: [Groaning] See, that is the problem. Sam is the problem!Jackson: I love that book!Whedon: [Reluctantly] The Pro is hilarious.Jackson: The Pro’s hilarious. [To the group] You ever see or hear of it?Johansson: No, what’s The Pro?Jackson: It’s [a comic book] about a hooker who gets super powers!Johansson: [Pauses] That is exactly the problem right there.Whedon: That’s why I wasn’t going to bring up The Pro!(From an Entertainment Weekly interview)”

“I'm working! What are you doing? Besides being...Being what?Wait a minute...Sarcastic? Unfeeling? British?It's an animal.Where?No, the word!Still you have to admit, I am... very British. I don't say hard R's.You know what I like? Brown sauce. What's it made of? Science doesn't know!It's made of brown.Brown. Mined from the earth by the hardscrabble brown miners of North Brownderton.Oh, my God. I find lentils completely incomprehensible. What the sun-dappled hell is Echo doing at Fremont?That's got nothing to do with the drug, which means our problems are huge and indomitable.Ooh. I could eat that word. Or a crisp. Do you have any crisps?You haven't seen my drawer of inappropriate starches? C'mon, c'mon, c'mon, c'mon!Oh my god, I'm having such a terrible day.”

“Nowadays I’m really cranky about comics. Because most of them are just really, really poorly written soft-core. And I miss good old storytelling. And you know what else I miss? Super powers. Why is it now that everybody’s like “I can reverse the polarity of your ions!” Like in one big flash everybody’s Doctor Strange. I like the guys that can stick to walls and change into sand and stuff. I don’t understand anything anymore. And all the girls are wearing nothing, and they all look like they have implants. Well, I sound like a very old man, and a cranky one, but it’s true.”

“Are you all right?""Oh my god! I phased!""Are you all right?""Are you?""It was strange.""I can't believe I phased just then! That's never...it was totally your fault.""I like to think so, yes.""Tee hee.”