“Tonight sucks. And look at me. Look at - look at stupid Buffy. Too dumb for college, and-and-and freak Buffy, too strong for construction work. And-and my job at the magic shop? I was bored to tears even before the hour that wouldn't end. And the only person that I can even stand to be around is a... neutered vampire who cheats at kitten poker.”

“I've lost my mind," Alex muttered, grabbing her knives again and stomping back across the kitchen. "I woke up this morning a boring little chef on planet earth, and somehow ended up in the Twilight Zone as a third-rate stand-in for Buffy the Vampire Slayer".”

“I was going to fight vampires, and my name wasn't Buffy--I was so screwed.”

“He looked at the carpet, where moments before the creature had lain, then at her again. She didn't seem rattled. "Who are you, Buffy?"She smiled. "Did that look like a vampire?" She sat down next to him and took a sip from her own whiskey.”

“My anger is ebbing away now, replace with a crazy grief for the stupid, dumb, trysting animal, who was running too fast and didn't look where it was going and still -even after its leg was scissored in the trap- believed it might escape. Stupid, stupid, stupid.”

“Eastlake High makes Buffy's hellmouth look like a crack in the sidewalk.”