“Have you ever been seduced by a ghost? Are you sure about that?”

“You are as great as you allow yourself to be.”

“Some days I'd like to start a column about my husband. Then I remember my kids.”

“Learning the difference between God's intervention, the devil's mischief, and PMS can lead to increased happiness.”

“...many atheists embrace Jesus as having been a great teacher, and yet he's the one who had the most to say about hell.”

“You must understand that in the afterlife, our personalities reflect an adult situation anyway, so we can say for sure that there will be no children in hell.”

“Some day you’ll show up when I’m back where I belong in this world. When I have what I ought to have. My due. And when you do. My gamekeepers will drive you out and away for good. Out. Away. Out.”