“Some days I'd like to start a column about my husband. Then I remember my kids.”

“Have you ever been seduced by a ghost? Are you sure about that?”

“Learning the difference between God's intervention, the devil's mischief, and PMS can lead to increased happiness.”

“You are as great as you allow yourself to be.”

“Some day you’ll show up when I’m back where I belong in this world. When I have what I ought to have. My due. And when you do. My gamekeepers will drive you out and away for good. Out. Away. Out.”

“And Mary, what of other men? There are no other men because my heart has gone out to you. And if you don't laugh I'll tell you what i think. I won't laugh. I think it's a fine instrument that God made for the poor likes of us to enjoy.”

“Dear Mr Skully, I have caught my neck in a mangle and will be indisposed for eternity.Yours in deathS.D.”