“Christ, don't you ever knock?It's Lassiter. L-A-S-S-I-T-E-R. How is it possible you're still getting me confused with someone else? Do I need a nametag?”
“Hey, I'm like Aretha Franklin, I don't get no R -S -P -E -C -T around here!”
“R-E-S-P-E-C-T!!!”
“Sie haben ja sooo recht, Frau Zappka...Ich höre in diesem Haus auch a-l-l-e-s. Bloß von Ihnen and Ihrem Mann höre ich nichts. G-a-r n-i-c-h-t-s. Schönen Tag noch.”
“be aggressive, BE-BE Aggressive! B-E A-G-G-R-E-S-S-I-V-E”
“Pamela Anderson: 'He called and called, leaving about twenty messages, just drunk dialing. One of them was him singing his version of the Oscar Mayer theme song:"My baloney has a first name, it's L-A-R-G-E. My baloney has a second name, it's P-E-N-I-S. I like to use it every day and if you ask me why, I'll saaay, 'Cuz my Large Penis has a way with P-U-S-S-Y today!"Actually that was the message that got me interested.”