“Don't be an asshole," the guy snapped as he cracked a freshie."Oh, right, because two in this group would be overkill.”

“Why couldn’t I stop being an asshole for two seconds? Oh that’s right, because my insides were currently a flipping mess because of a sudden realisation that my best friend was the most beautiful girl I had ever seen.”

“Chivalry isn't really dead you know." "Oh?" "Nah. That guy's just an asshole.”

“It's because he's an asshole. Asshole brains don't work the same as ours do. Too much brown sludge.”

“What do you think? Overkill?""I don't believe there is any such thing.But in this case, 'yes, overkill.”

“Some guys-a lot of guys-don't believe what they are seeing, especially if it gets in the way of what they want to eat or drink or believe. Me, I don't believe in God. But if i saw him, I would. I wouldn't just go around saying, "Jesus, that was a great special effect." The definition of an asshole is a guy who doesn't believe what he's seeing.”