“Listen, Cormia, I need you to know something."As she looked down at him, his eyes were the most amazing thing she'd ever seen, hypnotic, the color of citrines in firelight. "Yes?""I love you."Her heart clenched. "What?""I love you." He shook his head and eased back so he was sitting cross-legged. "Oh, Christ... I've made such a mess out of everything. But I love you. I wanted you to know it because... Well, shit, because it matters, and because it means I can't be with other Chosen. I can't be with them, Cormia. It's you or it's nobody.”

“I… What are you saying, Zsadist?" she stammered, even though she'd heard every word.He glanced back down at the pencil in his hand and then turned to the table. Flipping the spiral notebook to a new page, he bent way over and labored on top of the paper for quite a while. Then he ripped the sheet free.His hand was shaking as he held it out. "It's messy."Bella took the paper. In a child's uneven block letters there were three words: I LOVE YOUHer lips flattened tight as her eyes stung. The handwriting got wavy and then disappeared. "Maybe you can't read it," he said in a small voice. "I can do it over." She shook her head. "I can read it just fine. It's… beautiful.""I don't expect anything back. I mean… I know that you don't… feel that for me anymore. But I wanted you to know. It's important that you knew.”

“Why ever are you here?“ she whispered, putting her hands to his face.“Because I love you.”In so many ways, that explained nothing … and told her everything she needed to know.”

“And Cormia will be okay, I mean, she's not kicked out of here, correct?" "She shall be welcomed back herein. She is a fine female. Just not...as well suited to this life as some of us are." In the quiet heartbeats that followed, he had an image of her undressing him for the shower, her guileless, innocent green eyes looking up at him as she fumbled with his belt and his leathers. She only wanted to do what was right. Back when this whole mess had gotten started, even though she'd been terrified, she would have done the right thing by her tradition and taken him in her. Which made her stronger than him, didn't it. She wasn't running. He was the one with the track shoes on. "You tell the others I was not worthy of her." As the Directrix's mouth fell open, he pointed a finger at her. "That's a goddamned order. You tell them...she is too good for me. I want her elevated to a special rank.... I want her fucking enshrined, do you understand me? You do right by her or I'll bust this place into ruins.”

“It was hard to know what was worse: him being with her and all her sisters, or him being with none of them because his heart was held by another.-Cormia”

“She silenced him with her mouth, then pulled back. "You can't change what I think of you."He reached up and brushed her lower lip with his thumb."If you truly knew me, everything you believe would change.""Your heart would be the same. And that is what I love.”

“You hurt,too?" When the female nodded, Marissa was stunned. Then a little relieved. "It wasn't all painful. I mean, what led up to it was ... is amazing. Butch makes me... he's just so... the way he touches me, I get... Oh, God, I can't believe I'm talking like this. And I can't explain what it's like with him."Beth chuckled. "That's all right. I know what you mean.""Really?""Oh, yeah." The queen's dark blue eyes glowed. "I know exactly what you mean.”