“Man, it was a good thing he fought like a nasty bastard or he might have been taken for a nancy.”

“..when I say that "he's a truly nasty man," I mean he has so thoroughly renounced everything good that he might have inside him that he's already like a corpse even though he's still alive. Because truly nasty people hate everyone, to be sure, but most of all themselves. Can't you tell when a person hates himself? He becomes a living cadaver, it numbs all his negative emotions but also all the good ones so he won't feel nauseated by who he is.”

“I doubted vampire stuff would work on my disembodied father. He might have been a soulless bastard, but he was not an actual vampire.”

“An intelligence test sometimes shows a man how smart he would have been not to have taken it.”

“He wondered how it could have taken him so long to realize he cared for her, and he told her so, and she called him an idiot, and he declared that it was the finest thing that ever a man had been called.”

“President Eisenhower was a fine general and a good, decent man, but if he had fought World War II the way he fought for civil rights, we would all be speaking German now.”