“They’d just left when Zsadist came in at a dead run. “Shit, shit, shit…”What’s doing, my brother?”“I’m teaching and I’m late.”Zsadist grabbed a sleeve of bagels, a turkey leg out of the refridge and a quart of ice cream from the freezer. “Shit.”“That’s your breakfast?”“Shut up. It’s almost a turkey sandwich.”

“On Sharing“I’m sorry, but if your brother doesn’t want you to play with his shit, then you can’t play with it. It’s his shit. If he wants to be an asshole and not share, then that’s his right. You always have the right to be an asshole—you just shouldn’t use that right very often.”

“Turkey Bacon. It's like saying "shoot" instead of "shit." It just doesn't quite carry the moment.”

“On Proper Etiquette for Borrowing His Car “You borrowed the car, and now it smells like shit. I don’t care if you smell like shit, that’s your business. But when you shit up my car, then that’s my business. Take it somewhere and un-shit that smell.”

“I’m as constant as Constantinople. Now that’s some Istanbul shit.”

“Truthfully, if you want to remember me, do it now. I won’t give a shit when I’m dead.”