“A nice pickle they were all in now: all neatly tied up in sacks, with three angry trolls (and two with burns and bashes to remember) sitting by them, arguing whether they should roast them slowly, or mince them fine and boil them, or just sit on them one by one and squash them into jelly.”

“If a Negro got legs he ought to use them. Sit down too long, somebody will figure out a way to tie them up.”

“Here are the top three things I’ve learned in my twenty-two years on the planet:1. Never wipe your butt with poison ivy.2. People are like ants: Just a few of them give all the orders. And most of them spend their lives getting squashed.3. There are no happy endings, only breaks in the regular action.Of all of them, number three is really the only one you have to keep in mind”

“There are two things I like stiff, and one of them's jelly.”

“Ce'Nedra returned, frowning and a little angry. "They won't give me their eggs, Lady Polgara," she complained. "They're sitting one them.""You have to reach under them and take the eggs, dear.""Won't that make them angry?""Are you afraid of a chicken?”

“But it really all boils down to this - we don't know them, for all our sincerity, our good intentions. We don't know, because we were never one of them.”