“Fool of a Took!" he growled. "This is a serious journey, not a hobbit walking-party. Throw yourself in next time, and then you will be no further nuisance.”

“If he had two thoughts at the same time, they would throw a surprise party." Martin Bartel regarding a less than stellar intellect, to his wife Roe Teagarden in "A Fool and His Honey”

“Pretend you are foolish to the foolish, and be yourself when you are alone or with others like you, because if you take the foolish seriously as your friend, you might be a fool yourself.”

“If you make a fool of yourself in front of a cat, he will sneer at you, if you are sober; he will leave the room if you are drunk. If you make a fool of yourself in front a dog, he will make a fool of himself, too.”

“Art, like Nebraska, is a journey into thin air, a walk into whiteness, where you lose everything but yourself.”

“You can fool a lot of the people some of the time, and a few of the people most of the time, but the only person you can fool all of the time is yourself.”